September 2 2008

i want to swim!!

i have been interested in swimming for a while now and since buying a house with a pool is out of the question and moving to an apartment complex with a pool is as much out of the question as the first reason.... then i suppose joining a gym is my next option. so i checked into the gyms with pools close to us. the prices were 45 bucks and 60 for the higher end place. i can understand charging that much, but the joining fees for one of them is absurd! 200 bucks!! the ymca is only 90 bucks to join and if i spread that out over 6 months then it makes it sound better, but where am i going to find 65 extra dollars a month? seriously any ideas?

i dont want to do any kind of party throwing money making thing, pampered chef, jewelry candles... not for me!   i thought maybe i could make totes and purses  for 25 bucks each out of the fabrics i already have ,but what if i dont make my quota, who doesnt get to eat that month? (= in theory making stuff to sell is a great idea, but being consistent is the problem. i think something outside the home would be best. so if you have any ideas, i really want to hear them! i really really want to swim!!! 

August 28 2008

my prayer

Rushing wind blow through this temple,

Blowing out the dust within,

Come and breathe you breath upon me,

Ive been born again.

Holy spirit, I surrender, take me where you want to go,

Plant me by your living water,

Plant me deep so I can grow.

Jesus, youre the one, who sets my spirit free,

Use me lord, glorify, your holy name through me.

Separate me from this world lord.

Sanctify my life for you.

Daily change me to your image,

Help me bear good fruit.

Every day youre drawing closer.

Trials come to test my faith.

But when all is said and done lord,

You know, it was worth the wait.

Jesus, youre the one, who set my spirit free,

Use me lord, glorify, your holy name through me.

Rushing wind blow through this temple,

Blowing out the dust within,

Come and breathe you breath upon me,

For Ive been born again.

this was written by keith green, one of my all time favorites. he is from the 70's but i grew up listening to him so it is in me i guess. anyways this song i was listening to today and i said to myself, "that is so my heart!"  such a good song.

August 23 2008

waiting out the bla bla bla

i was reading today in my Bible and in the explanation part of James (i have a life application bible which i think is great) it read,

"In the christian life there are trials and temptations. successfully overcoming these adversities produces maturity and strong character"

why do people just want to skip over the trial part or the learning part and we just want to get to the point. we know that during the trial it is always hard but that after we come through it we will be much wiser and see things clearly, so why do we fight it EVERY TIME!

for instance reading a book. i love to read good books. not so much novels or fiction. but i have a problem with reading books from the beginning to the end. that is so BORING. i have to start randomly wherever i open it to and then i skip around and from chapter to chapter, maybe not even reading each chapter completely through. i typically read the end first and the beginning last, hoping to get whatever goods there is in there right away and not have to spend so much time with all the bla bla bla.

that probably sounds totally insane to some of you. my husband for one is not a fan of how i do this. he just doesnt understand, but i cant understand how he can read "SQL hacks" and be excited about it! 

anyways, i was realizing that this was a good analogy for going through trials. i just want to get to the end so i can see the good or exciting part and learn everything all at once, but it doesnt work that way. we must experience the trial to get the most out of it, yes God will give us wisdom if we ask him for it, but we can just pick up a box of wisdom or a basket of knowledge the next time we are at the market, it takes time to become this wise and patient person. during times of growth it feels like it may take forever to get to the end, but once you are there it was all worth it and you look back as if it were a mere moment. i can only learn so much at any given time anyhow, so rushing it doesnt create maturity any faster. so this next trial (and book) i go through, i think i will try to patiently wait out the bla bla bla and expect that maturity will come once i have reached the conclusion.

August 23 2008

shhhh, i'm hiding from the children!

first of all i love my kids sooo much, there is no doubt that i totally enjoy being with them. but sometimes i must hide from them (= a while back i posted something funny about moms and needing to hide from the kids, i thought it was funny when i read it, but then i realized how stinkin true it is!

during the day if they are playing by themselves i try to sneak away or quietly do something nearby. i cannot ever sit at the dining table or on the couch to read a book to myself, that is unheard of! or folding laundry in the living room or organizing. the kitchen doesnt bother them so much, as long as i am a busy bee they dont bother me, but once we make eye contact then the whining starts! i usually must be out of site for them to not be interested in me. so if they come barreling down the hall waving books in the air, i calmy leap over the gate and hide between the closet doors till they pass.....or if i am brave i sneak into my room (which is right by their door) and clean or something.... but our door handles are so noisy i rarely get away with that one.

it just cracks me up that i literally hide from my children!

August 9 2008

KRazY OR KoOKy?

i have so many thoughts and notes i write down during the day from reading and when i go back over them to try and combine them and make it understandable to someone else, i cannot. i think maybe i am dyslexic... that may sound silly at first, but seriously. there are different degrees of it and i clearly am on the lower end, but this really does seem to explain a lot of my learning patterns and growing up in school. the definition explained that it isnt an intellectual problem, meaning that anyone can have this trouble. not just undereducated or something like that, that isnt the reason.  justin and i were reading about dyslexia, and the whole time i was saying "yes, thats me" " oh my goodness, im not stupid, just dyslexic, hooray!" well he had to read it and tell me what it meant because i just couldnt figure it out by reading it. even writing this to you and trying to organize my thoughts in my head and put them on paper or computer (whatever) is making my head spin and my eyes bug out! i am good with interpersonal relational communication but not so much taking in complex abstract idea. for instance the last sentence.... i am still trying to figure out what i said.

in high school or even college i remember never wanting to answer a question out loud. i had the idea in my head but then when i thought of putting my hand up, i got all confused and had no idea what was running through my head. this is a line i copied from the description.  symptoms in other domains such as poor short tern memory skills, poor personal organizational skills and problems processing spoken language. ummm that is me!!i have a terrible short term memory (just ask justin, it is nearly unbelievable) i cannot be organized, i feel like my mind is in constant chaos. and then with processing spoken language, that happens all the time. justin will tell me something and i have to ask him like 3 or 5 times what he was saying. like i hear him but my brain is still processing the first word he said and he is onto the 8th word. especially in school or church services. if i dont take notes i probably wouldnt be able to tell you any details about the sermon. you might have to remind me of what subject he was even talking about. i hear it all and i laugh at all the jokes and nod my head in agreement but i couldnt for the life of me spit out anything if the teacher or preacher called on me! and if the speech is longer than twenty minutes i gotta get up at least once because i can barely stand sitting that long just listening to someone talk. if it is an interactive group then that is totally different.

well i think it is interesting to learn about how the mind and emotions all work. i like to try and figure out why i do the things i do and other people to. i think it helps me grow and relate better to people.and not feel super nutty!

some of this is probably due to my personality, being an odd mix of sanguine and some other stuff, but then i dont think that is the only reason. i am sure that what i have described is fairly normal for some, and many people have some of these same tendencies, but i guess i feel a little kooky and kind of was encouraged to read that I am not just a loonatic all by myself (= my best friend is somewhat like me and we are both artists and i thought maybe she would have these same tendencies and so i called her and asked her. expecting her to say "oh totally, i do that too" but no, she doesnt do any of the same things!!! that is when i thought it might not just be due to personality.

i also pasted this line from the description....Acquired dyslexias occur due to brain damage in the left hemisphere's key ... so maybe it is just from all the pot smoking back in my teens....

August 3 2008

lovely wedding

justin's brother Travis married his girlfriend of like four years this last weekend. Justin was his best man and i was able to come too without the children . the wedding was north of seattle so we stayed in a hotel that night together. i wanted to bring dahlia and valen to show them off to all the family, but i dont think that would have worked very well. we had a good time talking with family though, some i had never met before and others who i know just barely. it was a lovely wedding and susahn looked gorgeous!!! here are a few pictures for those of you who know them. ...and for those who dont too (=

a big whopping smooch!

cute couple (=

typical bodeutsch gathering

me, susahn, kirstin (justins older sister) megan (justins younger sister)

justin has an adopted cousin named justin and this is his girlfriend jackolyn... how crazy is that? she was very sweet and we chatted for a while. she has big eyes like me too.

my nephew william who i have just met this weekend! he is so cute! 

 newlyweds! congratulations!!!

July 21 2008

friends and family

i took a trip to vancouver with the kids while justin went on a camping bachelor party for his brother in astoria all weekend. my aunt was having a get together this weekend and i was planning on visiting my best friend shekinah and staying with my sister. 

my aunt invited all the ladies and girl cousins of our family together on saturday for a tea party (= it was nice to see everyone and i was able to strap valen down in his high chair for quite a bit of the time, but once he was down he was into everything. unless a house in absolutely baby proofed i gotta follow him around. then we headed out to see my friend shekinah who lives out close to my aunt. it was so nice to see her and her kids! i havent seen her youngest rosamond since we moved away in january. she is so adorable! she looks cute in the pictures but way cuter in person. she makes the cutest expressions and smiles!! i really really liked her! she is 8 months old.

  dahlia had so much fun with lillian and jonas just doing whatever. really cute to watch them play. one of the nights jonas wouldnt go to bed and neither would dahlia so we said, why fight it, just let them stay up and play. so they sat at the kids table and colored and talked in their little language, it was adorable. i wish i had a picture of it! i miss that we dont get to see them very much anymore, but at least we only live 1 1/2 hours away and are still able to visit here and there. we love you guys!!